About Destiny's Dilemma
Destiny Whitman has been an only child for all her eleven years, and she rather likes it that way. So when her parents decide to adopt a girl from China, she’s faced with a horrible dilemma! She doesn’t want a little sister. Her best friend thinks she’s being selfish and it causes a rift in their friendship. Nagging feelings tug at Destiny’s thoughts. Could I really be selfish? She finally asks God to search her heart, and is surprised to hear what He has to say.
Themes
- Selfishness
- Adoption
- Friendship conflict/reconciliation
- Reaching out to others
- Understanding the inner promptings to do right/Sensitivity to right and wrong thinking and/or behavior
Discussion Questions
Before Reading
- Do you know what ‘adoption’ is?
- What does it mean to be selfish?
- Can you think of a time when you’ve behaved selfishly?
- How can you tell if you are
- What do think feeling “conviction from God” means?
While Reading
- In chapter 1, why did the pastor’s message make Destiny feel bad? (She doesn’t feel a lot of love in her heart, and Christians are known by their love).
- In chapter 3, what are some of the reasons Destiny gives to her parents as to why she doesn’t want to adopt a sister? (It’s too expensive, she likes her family the way it is, she wonders if she’s not good enough and that’s why they want to adopt another daughter.)
- In chapters 5 & 6, how does the adoption video affect Destiny? (Her heart begins to soften at the idea of adoption). How does the doll affect her now also? (The doll reminds her of the little girl they will adopt.)
- How does Mrs. Whitman explain “conviction” to her daughter? (The Lord trying to get your attention and make you aware of a wrong thought or behavior.)
- What is the turning point for Destiny in chapter 8? (In her conversation with Miss Cassie, she begins to feel the Lord answering her prayer to searching her heart, and she begins to see that she has been selfish.)
- What other good things came from Destiny’s inner transformation? (She reconciled with Mickie, she opened her heart to something wonderful—the adoption, she let go of selfishness.)
- How does Destiny’s given name come into play on pg. 88? (In the end, she feels like part of her life’s ‘destiny’ was to adopt her sister.)
- What is the significance of Faith Ni’s name (pgs. 83-84)? (It took the Whitman’s a lot of faith to go through the adoption process, and “Ni” because the girl brought the family a lot of “happiness.”)
After Reading
- Despite their conflict at the beginning of the story, why do Destiny and Mickie have a good friendship? (They both admitted their mistakes; they asked forgiveness of each other.)
- What do you think was the real reason why Destiny was troubled about the adoption? (She thought she wasn’t good enough for her mom and dad and she didn’t want to share them with another sister.)
- What is your favorite part of the story and why?
Advanced Questions:
- Discuss the issue of adoption. Explain how we are all adopted into God’s family as Christians.
- Discuss instances when the child may have felt convicted about something.Reinforce that it is one way that God cautions us about something.
- Discuss the benefit and value of mentoring relationships, such as Miss Cassie and Destiny’s relationship.
- Discuss how Destiny’s prayer for God to search her heart was pivotal to her transformation. Explain how God responded to her prayer when He ‘spoke’ to her heart during her lunch with Miss Cassie.
- Lead the child in a prayer asking God to search her heart. If there are any specific issues the child is dealing with, take these to God in prayer together.
Activities:
- “Adopt” an underprivileged child at your church or in your neighborhood, or simply donate clothing, food, or gifts to a charity that helps children.
- Use dolls to play-act the scene when Destiny meets her new little sister for the first time (or any other scene from the story).
- Take the child to a Tea house, boutique restaurant, or coffee shop for a special, heart-to-heart.
